Comic Relief: Academy Award Humor

Yesterday I posted about the Academy Awards, well, another reason I watch the program is for the jokes!

Here are some of my favorite witty quotes from last year:

"Nothing can take the sting out of world economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues." (Billy Crystal)

"I was genuinely star-struck when I met Kermit the Frog.  But once you get to know him, he's just a normal frog.  Like many stars here tonight, he's a lot shorter in real life."  (Bret McKenzie, wrote the songs from The Muppets.)

"In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be.  If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess.  If you're  a short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator.  If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince.  And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra." (Chris Rock)

"She's either the most dedicated actress of our time or the most dedicated hoarder." (Billy Crystal about Meryl Streep's award wins.)

"When they called my name, I had this feeling… I could hear half of America going, 'Oh come on. Her. Again.' But whatever." (Meryl Streep)

"'Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.'  That's how my relatives are watching this show." (Billy Crystal)

"I'm here to get you the 18 to 24 demographic." (Justin Bieber in the opening montage.)

"When I came out of 'The Help,' I wanted to hug the first black woman I saw. Which from Beverly Hills is about a 45 minute drive."  (Billy Crystal)

Seth MacFarlane hosts the Awards this year.  I am unfamiliar with his work, let alone his comedy style.  Hopefully I can glean some fun lines for next Friday's post.